When I last left you I was angry about a few friends that had scorned and treated me like shit, well lets get one thing straight between me <the angry blogger> and you <the reader who is wondering why they continue on>. I only blog and post shit when I'm angry....so here it goes.
It's one day before Christmas. For the past month I've been spending time with a very cute 30 something year old guy who has been unemployed and broke the entire time, who has managed to continually fuck up his face due to weird minor drunken accidents and who I've been helping out by letting him use my internet and phone, feeding dinner, keeping him and his clothes clean and have even gone so far as to give him a bit of gas money to make it to interviews. So on Thursday he gets a job, woohoo; except for tonight he pops by and wants to see whats up, use my computer, and hangs just long enough to get a head change. It's Friday night and he doesn't have to work the next day so I asked him if he wanted to stay the night, he lets me know that we've been spending far too much time together and should take a break from him spending the night. That he needed to get back on schedule and probably will not be around much. He manages to leave right after that statement, with a departing, "thanks for getting my head changed".
This is the lesson that I now realize I need to learn from life, how not to shower a guy with everything they need, especially if they can't supply if for themselves; because they will only start taking it for granted and eventually leave because they got everything they wanted and no longer have any need for you. I told him I liked him, and how I really enjoyed his company and that the sex was amazing, I've tried to be honest and be on the up and up about everything I was feeling <since I hate games and the people who think it's a game to play>. But now I see I only wasted my time, energy and money on a guy who probably saw me for a sucker on day one. I'm not saying that my lesson has been learned, but I'm acknowledging it because I see it clearly right now. Kind of like when you wake up from dreaming and how you should write them down immediately or they might get lost and/or blurred and forgotten.
For now lesson learned, stay away from helping guys who cannot first help themselves on their own.
